Sleepless in Vietnam

Have you ever battled to keep your eyes open? It is easier to ward off hunger and thirst vs. chronic fatigue. The need for sleep was relentless. Yet as night fell…someone had to stay alert. Like every other soldier, sorely in need of rest, I had to keep my own eyes open. If you were there…you know exactly what I mean. You remember that silent struggle against yourself. We all found ways to stay awake.

Guard duty remains a fundamental skill of the army. But sentry duty in combat challenges those skills to a higher level. The men behind you close their eyes in trust that you will stay awake. Betraying that trust puts everyone in danger. A real enemy often lurked out there probing for a weakness.

Now many of you know that I was a doc and would do radio watch in the field. But we all pulled perimeter duty at basecamp. (Every man’s first MOS is grunt in the Army.)  Again, if I fell asleep on radio…some isolated squad would be cut off from immediate communication. No medic was completely isolated from danger…nor the need of for sharp eyes around him.

My best friend Doc Christopher Smith was severely wounded by a breached perimeter.   He laid in his tent unarmed, listening to music. He had pulled his six months on line and safely awaited his stateside rotation, in the secured rear. When the tent flap opened, a grenade rolled across the floor. He was fragged while rolling out the side. The canvass was no match for the fragments penetrating the side of his body. He laid still until the enemy quickly passed. (They never retrace their steps…it is easiest to push through and break the opposite side’s defenses.)  A breach creates confusion. Someone on the perimeter will be hit from their backside. Did someone fall asleep? Were they somehow distracted from their diligence?  A disciplined fight would have provided some reaction time. This was a silent deadly breach…the worst kind.

Chris slowly recounted how he laid quietly in a pool of his own blood…waiting for those vital moments to pass. He ran his hand over his body and felt the blood running everywhere. He heard the groans of other soldiers in every direction. His medical kit lay inside the tent. He waited in place until some organized resistance gave him a chance at life. Just a few days prior, he had told me of his rotation, he had charged me to keep my senses until I could also pull out to safety. I had tucked my friend’s fortune to the safe zone in my own mind. It would have torn me up to know the facts. Providentially  I would not know, until eventually visiting his home stateside.

Currahees…can you remember those nights when our eyes ached? We hunted the enemy by day, constantly alert for a firefight. Sometimes all hell broke loose. Then the night came. We stayed awake motionless, with our hands near that trigger. We took our turn listening for any telltale break in the silence. No one got a full night’s sleep…an hour on and two off…if you were lucky. Thank you for staying awake when my own eyes closed for a few. We made it!