Sleepless in Vietnam

Have you ever battled to keep your eyes open? It is easier to ward off hunger and thirst vs. chronic fatigue. The need for sleep was relentless. Yet as night fell…someone had to stay alert. Like every other soldier, sorely in need of rest, I had to keep my own eyes open. If you were there…you know exactly what I mean. You remember that silent struggle against yourself. We all found ways to stay awake.

Guard duty remains a fundamental skill of the army. But sentry duty in combat challenges those skills to a higher level. The men behind you close their eyes in trust that you will stay awake. Betraying that trust puts everyone in danger. A real enemy often lurked out there probing for a weakness.

Now many of you know that I was a doc and would do radio watch in the field. But we all pulled perimeter duty at basecamp. (Every man’s first MOS is grunt in the Army.)  Again, if I fell asleep on radio…some isolated squad would be cut off from immediate communication. No medic was completely isolated from danger…nor the need of for sharp eyes around him.

My best friend Doc Christopher Smith was severely wounded by a breached perimeter.   He laid in his tent unarmed, listening to music. He had pulled his six months on line and safely awaited his stateside rotation, in the secured rear. When the tent flap opened, a grenade rolled across the floor. He was fragged while rolling out the side. The canvass was no match for the fragments penetrating the side of his body. He laid still until the enemy quickly passed. (They never retrace their steps…it is easiest to push through and break the opposite side’s defenses.)  A breach creates confusion. Someone on the perimeter will be hit from their backside. Did someone fall asleep? Were they somehow distracted from their diligence?  A disciplined fight would have provided some reaction time. This was a silent deadly breach…the worst kind.

Chris slowly recounted how he laid quietly in a pool of his own blood…waiting for those vital moments to pass. He ran his hand over his body and felt the blood running everywhere. He heard the groans of other soldiers in every direction. His medical kit lay inside the tent. He waited in place until some organized resistance gave him a chance at life. Just a few days prior, he had told me of his rotation, he had charged me to keep my senses until I could also pull out to safety. I had tucked my friend’s fortune to the safe zone in my own mind. It would have torn me up to know the facts. Providentially  I would not know, until eventually visiting his home stateside.

Currahees…can you remember those nights when our eyes ached? We hunted the enemy by day, constantly alert for a firefight. Sometimes all hell broke loose. Then the night came. We stayed awake motionless, with our hands near that trigger. We took our turn listening for any telltale break in the silence. No one got a full night’s sleep…an hour on and two off…if you were lucky. Thank you for staying awake when my own eyes closed for a few. We made it!

Fighting remained sporadic for quite some time after the Tet of 1968. It would take months for our enemies to resupply with ammo and reinforcements. But the war went on day by day. They made contact…we made contact. The engagements tended to be brief. The element of surprise wore off quickly in a firefight and our foe retreated to conserve resources.

Our job was to endure the 365 day tour. Higher command wanted to get the most out of our tours. They made us pursue throughout II Corps, once Phan Thiet was deemed secure. On any given day, I was clueless as to where we were or where we were going. It really didn’t matter. Our job was to make contact with the enemy…in the mountains or lowlands, the bush, rain forests, or rice patties. It was all the same. Make contact in the most superior positions possible. Our unit leaders did a fine job. We all did.

On this particular day we played cat and mouse. Today we were the cat…yet the mouse fired back! No one was hurt, despite the exchange of fire. We moved ahead again without further contact. The bushes cleared and I gazed upon a small rectangular house. I asked first squad, “Is this secure?” They replied, Yep, we cleaned the house…its empty.”

I had no real interest in the house. The porch caught my eyes. The tile roof stretched over that area to make a nice shady clean spot for doc. It was still hot for a late afternoon. I figured this was a classy spot for a break. I told at least a half dozen troops about my new found my perch. Just in case another firefight started, I didn’t want to get shot by friendly fire, bolting off that porch. You can’t tell enough soldiers of your position

My ruck sack was firmly pushed in the corner. The concrete surface cooled my legs as I stretched out to survey my find. The smooth surface worked great to prepare a quick hot meal. It seemed too early for us to stop for the night. Besides that, this position was too comfortable to be permanent. Sometimes you seize  the moment for what its worth.

The railings were thick, providing some protection. The narrow slits in the railing gave a window of visibility. However, it was the roof that endeared me to this spot. I can’t remember ever sleeping under a real roof in this country. For the first time, I felt strangely safe in the heart of Vietnam. That was my last thought upon dozing off.

I dreamed about today’s firefight. There were some shouts, but no one cried medic. A day without casualties is a good day. I continued to rest in that safe position. The morning sun glared at me for a wake up call. I had accidentally dozed off far longer than I intended. Thank God the platoon hadn’t moved out with me still on that porch!

Currahees…two things happened from that early snooze. I missed my turn on radio watch that night. No one shared the fact that I was on the porch. Even though I was a stone’s throw away…I was out of place.  

The second thing was the two fresh bullet holes splattered on the wall above me. My dreamy firefight was the real deal! If you can walk away…it is a lesson learned. Never slept under another roof in Vietnam.